Relationships with others can be highly complex and confusing… But the strangest part is that you don’t even need another person to have a difficult experience in relationships. Sometimes, it’s your own self that you have trouble being friends with.
With the numerous pressures, demands, and “standards” of the world crashing down on us, it’s no surprise that many people are finding themselves desperately needing more self love.
Never thought about it? Here are the signs you need more self love and what you can do about it.
5 Signs You Desperately Need More Self Love
1) You Feel Depressed or Less Interested Than Before
Do you have hobbies and interests that just don’t seem to excite or make you feel good anymore?
If you’ve recently experienced a major change in your attitude towards yourself, the things that used to excite you may not feel so nice anymore.
That’s right! When you skip your emotional self care and allow self-directed stress to rule multiple aspects of your life… The things that you once loved start to just don’t feel the same.
Depression can be a natural effect caused by unfulfillment in life. Maybe your job grates on you, or an environment that you used to enjoy has become oppressive… Or maybe you’ve been practicing that negative self talk a little too often.
If you feel like everything irritates you, including your own image in the mirror, it’s definitely a sign that you need more self love.
2) You’ve Been Criticizing Others More
Misunderstandings happen, and sometimes things can seem like a much bigger issue than they really are in the grand scheme.
This may sound weird, but when a person lacks self love, it becomes a lot easier for him or her to get caught in criticizing others as well. Why? Because fault finding is sometimes rooted in a person’s need to put others down – just so they can avoid looking at their own flaws (most people do it unconsciously).
When people make mistakes, it’s important to remember that people are incapable of being perfect… Including you! So it’s healthier to be as forgiving to others as you would like to be forgiven yourself. Holding onto grudges only loads your body with stress.
3) You Feel Like an Impostor
When you lack self love, your inner voice plays tricks on you and makes you doubt yourself. The voice in your head might even attack and ridicule you randomly, throughout the day. You might feel like you’re not good enough, or that the way others see you does not reflect the true you.
If this is the case, it would be a good idea to concentrate on positive things about yourself. If you keep thinking of yourself as an impostor, it can lead to a cyclical behavior: telling yourself that you’re fooling everyone around just feeds the idea of you being an impostor!
This is why practicing positive self-talk, self love and self care is so important – it could help you to gain a more realistic, helpful, and supportive view of yourself. YOU can be your own best supporter – doesn’t that sound amazing?
4) You Find It Hard To Be Assertive
It may be harder to communicate your needs if you’re a naturally shy person, but it could also be a sign that you don’t love yourself enough and feel like you don’t deserve anything better.
5) You Haven’t Been Taking Physical Care Of Yourself
One of the biggest signs that you need more self love is that you haven’t been taking care of your physical body. Lack of personal hygiene is a strong sign of depression and other related emotional disturbances and just so you know – I’ve been through that myself. I know how challenging can it be to simply take a shower when you’re terribly depressed.
If that’s how you feel, create a simple self care routine to keep yourself clean and fresh, because if you go without basic cleanliness, it can be easy to feel like nothing matters as much. And hey, I know you’re not motivated enough, but motivation comes after you start doing something, not before. Go out of your way to make yourself feel better and healthier. If you’ve been neglecting yourself, that can be a massive boost to your attitude and self love!
So… What’s a Girl To Do? How Can You Grow Your Self Love?
Finding self love does not happen overnight… It’s a process. It’s a bunch of small, tiny steps towards more self-acceptance. If you want to know what helped me the most…
The most important thing that taught me to love myself was a simple self discovery journey, done with daily journaling. What I did was just pick a different topic about myself and wrie whatever was going on in my mind. I went through my flaws, my victories, my likes – everything that felt important and this is how I got to know myself.
You see, when you have a full picture of yourself in front of you, you can finally see that there are more pieces than you think. You’re not just a bunch of flaws, failures, and negative thoughts. You are, in fact, a beautiful creature with a ton of positive aspects, memories, and achievements in your life. But you have to literally list them to yourself, to finally see that there are many things to love yourself for.
I’ve designed a free “30 day self discovery” journal so you can get a similar experience without having to think of the topics:
I know this whole story may sound, well, a little “new-agy”, but I strongly recommend you to try this yourself – I think you will love this, even if you don’t think there’s anything to be happy about yourself. Trust me, it’s not true and it’s just your negative self-talk. Once you start journaling, you will see that there’s both black and white in you and they both form a perfect yin and yang (a balance).
And hey… If you can’t get this journal, it’s fine. There’s one more thing you can do every day to practice self love and give yourself some encouragement. To do that, simply HUG yourself, a few times a day – especially when you feel drowning in negative thoughts. It’s a very calming and soothing thing to do and you will love how it feels. I’ve learned this a few years ago and have been doing it ever since. Try it right now! Just hug yourself! 🥰 The fact that you opened this article already tells you that you need and WANT more self love, so go ahead and just give it yourself.
Make it the start of your journey to a loving relationship with YOU.
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