Being comfortable in your own skin is such a beautiful trait. Don’t get confused – it’s not the same as being confident. While it is very similar, it’s more about being ok with the way you are and accepting yourself completely. It is a beautiful peace inside you and it doesn’t need to be shown to everyone around like confidence – it is yours only. A little treasure box inside your heart, filled with contentment and bliss.
But sometimes this box gets empty. For many reasons, big and small, you may find yourself being not so comfortable with who you are. You may feel like you’re not fitting in. Or not good enough. Different. Late to achieve something… Insecure.
Well, the good news – these are all lies, and not because I want to create here some drama.
None of those are true because if you think well, there is no rule of what is right or wrong. There is no rule of what is normal. The only thing we have is a feeling or intuition of what is “ok”. And we use it as a guide.
Sometimes this intuition becomes a belief of what you “must” do or be. Since we rarely question our own beliefs, little sneaky lies start to infiltrate our mindset and create invisible barriers.
A few examples:
1. Your friends are already having their first child and you’re not even married yet. You think you’re not good enough and that you’re late in life.
There is no rule that says you should be married by now. There is no rule when you should be having a first baby (except the biological rule of fertile age).
2. Everyone around is working a “regular” 9 to 5 job. You hate it but feel like you must do that too because “that’s the way to live” and your parents expect you to do that.
There are many ways to make a living and 9 to 5 job is only one of them. There is no rule that says you should be doing the same thing people around you do.
3. You’re not obese, but you’re not fit either. It means you’re unhealthy and “not pretty”.
You don’t need to be size 0 to be healthy. A little weight, as long as it’s in a healthy range, is ok and being beautiful is not only about the looks anymore.
You see, in order to be more comfortable in your skin, you should ask yourself – am I trying to be someone I am not? Am I trying to impress someone or meet someone else’s expectations? Am I constantly comparing myself to others?
The moment you realize that there is no actual rule book of who, what and when you need to do or be, it becomes a lot easier to accept, love and support yourself the way you are. This is your starting point.
And here’s what you can do next to increase your self-acceptance and feel better about yourself:
1. Take good care of yourself.
You will respect and simply like yourself more if you spend the time to stay healthy inside out. Eat clean, exercise, meditate and do things that are good for you. The better you feel, the more comfort comes with this effort.
These articles may help you with this step:
And here’s a printable Self Care bundle that helps you create self-care routines (and stick to them!):
2. Nourish your mind & spirit.
Smart books, self-improvement articles (check out a bunch of them on this Blog) and even poetry are all food to your soul. The richer the soul, the less you’re impacted by this world and it’s demands.
3. Discover yourself completely.
Are you comfortable with your closest friend, partner or family relative? If so, it’s probably because you know them very well. Knowing yourself well can help you feel a lot more comfortable with yourself too.
How do I do that? – you may ask.
One of the ways is diving into a self discovery journey. If you don’t know what it is and need some guidance, check out the “30 days to myself” – a self discovery journal I designed based on my own story. It’s a perfect way to explore your values and preferences, acknowledge your talents and victories + fall in love with yourself.
4. Stop caring about what other people think.
There will always be someone who doesn’t like you. Someone who judges you or even hates you… While it is certainly unpleasant, it doesn’t matter to you if you don’t allow it to affect you. Who cares what other people say? Live your life the way you want and be proud of every second!
5. Understand that you don’t have to do anything.
If you’re an adult, you have your own free will completely. And in reality, there’s nothing you must do. If you don’t like something, you don’t have to do it. However, you should always evaluate and weigh your options well in order to choose what’s best for you.
Here’s an example: You don’t like your job because it is draining you mentally. Yes, you could quit – it is not like you must keep it. You won’t die if you quit your job – you can always find another. It certainly would be better to keep it because a job means income, but if things go so bad that you can’t take it anymore, then it is better to quit.
Understanding that you always have an option to not do something helps you keep your head high and makes you more comfortable with choices you have to make.
6. Befriend your inner monsters.
If you have anxiety or keep telling yourself negative things all the time, try to solve them out and it will give you a huge boost in being comfortable with yourself.
I mean, how can you stay comfortable when someone is constantly telling you how bad you or things around are? It is not helpful at all.
Here are a few journals that can help you spot irrational thoughts, worries, beliefs + sort them out:
7. Make peace with your past.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Let go of negative thoughts. Decide to start a new chapter in your life – the one where you are supporting yourself no matter what.
Read more about that:
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Being comfortable in your own skin is not something you get when you’re born. It can be learned, just like any other skill. I hope this article will help you make a great start in learning to love yourself – the way you are.
Did this article spark any thoughts? Share at the comment section at the bottom!