Hey, I know how it feels. Something bad happened, and here you go – sad, helpless & frozen again. Life is suddenly grey, and all the joy is gone.
Maybe you had a conflict with someone, lost your job or have a mountain of bills to pay, but the creditors won’t wait anymore…
I know. It’s discouraging. And hard.
Sometimes you feel like you can’t even move, or think, or even speak clearly because the brain fog is just too dense.
All you can think of is “why are these things happening to me, why do I get all these problems?”.
Or even worse: “others always have it so easy, why does it have to be so hard for me?!”
And you know what? It’s easy to give up when problems arise.
Actually, it’s probably the easiest thing to do.
But when life gives us problems, we must always remember that there are three choices: to give up, to give in or to give all that you’ve got.
Grab this Positivity Journal or, if you feel anxious too – this Thought Workbook, print it and do a few exercises (in fact, do them all if you can).
You will feel a lot more positive right away because it will help you shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.
The Thought Workbook also helps you to find irrational beliefs that may be causing your anxiety.
These journals are simple, yet useful tools that I designed on my experience with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helps you to challenge your thoughts gently and simply make them more positive. Positive thoughts = Less anxiety = Better mood. You can find more mental wellness journals here
It’s easy to stay in a victim mode and just be afraid. I used to do that a lot.
Believe it or not, my favorite way to cope when something stressful happened was to literally go hide under my table (don’t worry, it’s a big table).
I just felt so safe there.
One of the reasons why we get that horrible feeling when problems arise is because it makes us feel unsafe or even intimidated.
We humans are always doing everything we can to avoid pain and feeling unsafe creates a sense of possible pain.
We don’t want to suffer.
It’s in our nature.
… But life is hard and sometimes – cruel.
If you keep living in your imaginary perfect world, you will get that dreaded feeling of hopelessness every single time something stressful happens.
That sounds like a nightmare.
So what can you do? How can you switch your mindset to stay 100% positive and say “Hey, this is fine. I can handle this”, even if it feels unbelievable?
Here are the tips that worked for me.
How To Stay Positive When Life Keeps Giving You Problems
1. Accept the distress
Yes, sh*t happens and it happened to you too – again.
It is totally fine. Millions of people live problematic lives every day.
Some of them are even extreme (like coping with sporadic diseases, having an enormous debt or becoming homeless).
And you know what? People survive.
They learn to adapt or work harder and find a way out.
You are not destined to live an unhappy life.
You are not destined to struggle forever.
Something bad happened, and that’s ok.
Life is a random number generator and it simply happened that this time you got the worst number.
It will pass.
Accept the fact that it happened and get comfortable with it as soon as you can.
Don’t try to fight it because the more you fight, the worse it feels.
It is easier to stay positive when you understand that it’s not a fight – just an uncomfortable situation.
Related: 30 ways to calm down your mind
2. Decide what to do.
You can’t just live with those problems or they will simply drag you down.
Once you get comfortable with the fact that something bad happened, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself: “Ok, what now? How do I deal with all of this?”.
This is very important, especially if you have a few things that are bringing you down.
Make a cup of calming tea and think – what can you do to help yourself?
What actions can you take to make everything better?
In many cases, this step will involve getting a little more uncomfy.
Maybe you will have to talk to that problematic person again. Or call those creditors.
Sometimes you will have to just accept what is going to happen.
But in this situation you should always remember these things:
- Facing your problem means taking a step towards solving it. A solved problem is not a problem anymore.
- Things that can’t be changed are not worth stressing over.
- All bad feelings pass, sooner or later. This is not going to take forever.
- What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, remember?
The more you push yourself to face unpleasant things, the more resilient you become.
So think of these unfortunate situations as a way to grow stronger, braver and more mature – it will help you stay positive when these things happen.
Plus, it will only get easier with time.
3. Soothe yourself.
I used to think that if there’s something bad in my life, it means I can’t be happy or comfortable until it’s solved.
Poor me! I spent so many days being extremely tired and sad just because I couldn’t allow myself to enjoy something.
In reality, I could have felt so much better if I intentionally helped myself.
By that I mean self care.
Self care is just a perfect way to “patch yourself up” when you’ve been hit by life.
In fact, if you need a universal recipe on how to stay positive when anything happens – I would say mix some self care with more self care and you’ll create medicine for your soul every time.
I know, you probably don’t feel like planning your self care right now, but it can make you feel so much better!
You don’t have to go through rough patches in your life feeling all weary.
Soothe yourself as much as you can.
Have to read an unpleasant letter? Do it with a cup of cocoa.
Feel tense and paralyzed? Ask your loved one for a backrub (and a hug!).
Find things that make you feel a little better – and do them.
Tiny steps are still steps and good self care can get you really far.
Problems are unpleasant…
And sometimes we are being hit by multiple unlucky things at the same time.
But if this happened to you, try not to make it the end of your world.
You are a strong person, and you can go through everything with a little acceptance, planning and self care.
Play it smart, and you will find yourself coping much easier than it could have been.
If you need an extra boost, try this Positivity Journal that can help you change your mindset and stay positive during hard times:
Remember – everything is an opportunity if you decide it is.
I hope this article will help you to stay positive even when life is giving you problems one after another.
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