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How To Build Your Personality: 4 Steps To An Identity You Dream Of or The “NEW ME” Challenge

Sometimes, you just want to be different and that’s FINE.

Researched, written by Amber & The Team
Updated on July 12, 2023

Woman Building New Personality Art Photography

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Blonde Woman With A Hat Enjoying Summer Wind

“How to build your personality to something you would really like?”

Okay, this is probably the most interesting and fun challenge I’ve ever tried!

And with the new year approaching, I feel like a lot of you will be interested in how to build your personality – even if you feel like you have none.

What’s a better time to reinvent yourself than the beginning of the new year, right?

I am a fan of challenges and I’ve been constantly doing them since I was a teenage village girl.

The internet was not that big then so I developed a habit of “inventing” new challenges all the time and this is why you keep reading about various life alteration ideas I share on my blog, like:

Glow Up Challenge: How To Become Prettier In One Month

50 Bright Ideas For Your Life Makeover Plan

… and similar.

Now, I want to share something that might help you build your personality in a fun, interesting, and explorative way!


Building Your Personality 101


Why Would You Want To Build Your Personality?


By no means am I saying that there are people who have no personality at all.

I think everyone is unique in their own way but this is not about what I or anyone else thinks about you.

This is about what you think of your own personality and whether you like it or not.

If you feel like:


  • Your personality (and life!) is boring and bleak;


  • You want to stand out a little more in the circle of your friends and colleagues;


  • You always admire others but never admire yourself;


  • It seems too hard to catch up with all the interesting stuff everyone else is coming up with…


Then, most likely, the image in your head of who you would like to be is different from who you are and that can be a major source of unhappiness and insecurity in many people’s life.

What Is The Purpose Of The “New Me”: How To Build Your Personality Challenge?


I mean, you and I – we’re not wizards, that’s clear.

I’m not going to give you a secret ancient spell that will magically transform you into someone else, like in those cartoon movies from your childhood.

But with this challenge, you can build your personality on top of what you have.

It means that your good traits and core values will stay as they are, but with a few changes, you will become a little better and more of what you want to be.

The best thing?

I am not going to shove you into something that you don’t like.

I am not going to tell you how to build your personality as a person X, Y, or Z did.

You will decide what you want based on the things you would love to see in yourself.

You will become who you want to be.


What Can You Expect From This Challenge?


After doing this challenge, you might experience one or several of these things.


  • You will build your personality to the point where you are completely happy with the “new you”;


  • You will discover a new and interesting way to develop new self-development ideas;


  • You will learn how to find something good in others and adapt it in your own life;


Or, you may find that you don’t really want to change yourself at all – which is also a great thing if it opens your eyes to see that you are enough the way you are.

The main point of the “New Me” Challenge is to help you build your personality to achieve improvement in your life, and your connection with yourself.

But hey, I know it all sounds “new-age-y”.

So let’s just look at the practical ways to do it and skip all the blabbing!


The “NEW ME” Challenge: How To Build Your Personality


1. Review Yourself


The first thing you need to do in order to build your personality from zero is… Well, define your “zero”.

You need to review your personality and decide which things you like (those will stay) and which things you don’t like (these will have to go).

Remember that this is all about your personality – leave things like your appearance aside for now.

To do this step, simply take two sheets of paper and spend some time writing what you like about your personality and what you don’t like.

Include things like habits as well.

For example, you may like your ability to be positive most of the time, but you don’t like that you allow yourself to be lazy often.

Write everything down and think of it as if you are trying to declutter your personality by keeping what makes you happy and separating things that keep you sad.

This will give you two lists and this is your starting point – your “zero”, from which you will build your personality.


2. Find Your Inspiration


This is the fun part!

Now you know which parts of your personality should stay and which have to go.

That’s great!

You have a starting point, but this step will bring you closer to who you would like to be.

Since people are usually inspired by things they see in others, this is a great way to exploit it.

Think of someone – a person, a movie character, an influencer, or anyone that inspires and mesmerizes you the most.

This could be anyone!

Be open-minded and sincere with yourself – no one is going to know or judge your inspiration.

This is only for you.

Here are a few examples.


  • You might be absolutely impressed by Michelle Obama, her work, her elegance, and how she prioritizes her family.


  • You might be a little envious that Harley Quinn gets to do anything she wants in Batman and you love how playful, spontaneous, and a little wild she is.



  • Or you may simply feel that your mother, grandmother, or sister is the most inspiring person you can think of.


Whoever it is, be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself – who I would love to be like?

Who is my inspiration person?


Do not feel like you are going to copy someone.

You won’t.

To improve your personality with an example of others is not being a copycat.

Copying others is not what we are doing here.

Impersonating is not adding anything beneficial to your persona – it’s just replacing what you have with what others do, so it’s more of losing your personality than building it. (This applies in business too).

Copyists think that they can be someone else just by stealing other people’s ideas, but in reality – all they get is just… cringe.

Don’t be one.

Getting inspired by others is a completely different thing.

Seeing what others do right and getting inspired to improve yourself, or improve what you do is what this step is about.

So choose your inspiration and try to think of personality traits, habits, and values this person has.

Write it all down.

For example, you would love to be as elegant and sophisticated as Victoria Beckham…


View this post on Instagram


So grateful for the past 10 years.

Thank u #TeamVB x VB Kisses #VBSS19 #LFW #VBSince08

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on

Google about her, watch a few interviews, and jot down the things you notice about her personality & habits (remember – this is not about the looks).

This is what simple Google research gave me about Victoria’s Beckham personality and habits!


  • She spends a lot of time exploring creative style ideas;


  • She embraces being a woman and all the things that come with it;


  • She likes to challenge herself by always staying very positive;


  • She’s always focused on what’s next;


  • She only competes with herself;


  • She eats a clean, healthy diet all the time;


  • She exercises a lot (every day);


  • She wakes up early;


  • She is very disciplined;


  • She is a very health-focused person.


There you go – a bunch of beautiful personality traits to “borrow” and build on top of your own personality.

If your inspiration is a movie character, you can simply watch a movie with this character and do analogic research while you do it: analyze this character, what it does, how it does it, and write everything down.


3. Make a Plan


Now that you have lists of:

  • Your personality traits that you like;
  • Your personality traits that you don’t like;
  • The personality traits of a person who inspires you;

The last preparation thing to do is to make a plan to build your personality!

Here’s how to do it:


1) Take the first list of personality traits you like in yourself. Review it once more and think of ways you can nurture these even further.


For example, if you like that you’re a tidy person, think of ways you can add more of this goodness to your life.

Maybe you can get even tidier and even more organized?

Can you even make some money by offering organizational advice?

It never hurts to try different options with something you do well.

Write your ideas down.


2) Next, take a look at things you don’t like about yourself.


There might be a few or even a lot of things you don’t like.

For example, you might hate that you’re always giving in to unhealthy eating habits.

Or stay silent in group conversations.

It’s ok!

We all have things that are harder for us to do.

To get rid of these, write 1-3 things you can do to counter everything you don’t like.

For example, to stop eating unhealthy you can:


Research healthier recipes;


Find healthier alternatives to your favorite meals;


Try to find a reason you’re overeating and get rid of it.

Or, if you stay way too silent in group conversations, you can:


Start with saying more agreement words like “Totally”, “That is so true” or “I never even thought about it this way, but it’s so obvious”.


Try asking related questions, like “Really?

But what happened next?” or “Do you think this could happen again?”

Reviewing this list and gathering (or Googling) ideas will give you actionable steps you can take to weed out unhelpful personality traits and habits in your life.


3) Finally, take the list of your inspiration and decide which traits or habits you want to implement in your own life. 


This is the part where you and your life expand with something new and become more interesting.

Gradually adding new personality traits, developing new habits will allow your personality to grow and shape your character in beautiful ways!

Of course, there will be a ton of things you don’t know how to do.

For example, your inspiration person wakes up very early and you have no idea how to do it.

That’s ok!

You will have to spend some time researching time management techniques, or how to wake up early and try to implement it in your life.

(P.S. here’s my advice on how to wake up early just in case you need it).


4. Making It Real


By this time, you should have a clear view of:

1) Things you like and how to build your personality by improving or adding them.

2) Things you don’t like and how to build your personality by removing them.

Start with a few changes, or go with a full life makeover – it’s totally up to you!

Just don’t leave all of this behind because any positive change must happen with an action and you are the only one who can take it.

If you need more tips on how to work on your goals and stay disciplined, check out these articles:

How To Get That Buring Motivation To Reach Your Goals

How To Develop a Rock-Solid Discipline

The most important thing to take from this challenge is the ability to review + reshape yourself and get inspired by the good things you find in others.

This is the easiest way to build the personality you truly want because you can literally choose what you want to add to your life and shape yourself the way you want to.


How To Expand The “New Me”: Build Your Personality Challenge


If you feel inspired to become who you always wanted to be, feel free to expand this challenge because not only can you build your personality from zero, but you can also build:


  • A healthier body;


  • A more successful career;


  • Your own business;


  • Better relationships;


  • Better style.



Speaking of style, I’ve received quite a few questions lately about inexpensive fashion and whether it’s possible to dress well on a budget.

Yes, it’s totally possible, but you have to look at the right places and spend a bit of time researching inexpensive yet nice clothes choices.

I recommend you to check out How to dress well with Fashion Style You – they list a ton of ideas for different fashion tastes and needs, so you can easily explore them.

Alternatively, I would dive into Amazon and look for simple, minimalistic style options (like “style basics“) that are always in style and inexpensive.)


How To Build Your Personality: Conclusion


In conclusion, here’s how to make your personality strong and attractive, or simply improve some parts of you.


List what you’re doing right, list what you think you’re doing wrong, and what your inspiration person is doing right about it.


Decide how you can improve even more, how you can dismiss what’s unhelpful, and how you’re going to implement great examples of others in your own life.


Don’t forget the most important part – actually working on the changes you want!

The most beautiful part of growth like this is the way you gradually become an inspiring person yourself.

At some point, you may even find that you don’t need to look for examples in others anymore because you, yourself, have become your own role model.

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