How to Cope When You Fall In Impossible Love

Updated on October 2, 2020

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woman in impossible love holding her legs crying

Humans are capable of unconditional love. It’s a beautiful, mystical, sometimes problematic fact of life. While unconditionally loving someone can result in a bountiful relationship, there are times when it can also lead to trouble.

Have you ever developed a major crush on someone you know you simply can’t be in a relationship with? Perhaps it would be inappropriate for you to be in a relationship with this person for various reasons. Maybe this person is already in a relationship, or worse – married. They could be your supervisor at work, your sibling’s ex, or they may fall into another sticky category.

It’s not uncommon for this crush to develop into a full-blown love spell, fantasies and all. This is what is called impossible love. It’s when you develop serious feelings for someone that you can never be with, and it can lead to some troublesome emotions.

If you feel as though you may have fallen into an impossible love situation, keep reading. We’ve outlined some coping mechanisms that may help pull you out of the rabbit hole.

 

How to Cope When You Fall In Impossible Love

 

Firstly, it’s a good idea to pinpoint why this relationship isn’t going to work, as there are so many reasons for a relationship to become an impossible love.

Is it inappropriate? Is it a long-distance situation? Does this person not have mutual feelings for you? Are there differences in lifestyles or opinions that you will never be able to settle on? If you haven’t already, figure out exactly what it is that makes this an impossible love scenario. Once you’ve done this, you need to start coming to terms with the fact this situation is wrong for you. Easier said than done, we know.

You can look at it this way: we live in a society that romanticizes ideas such as finding “the one” or someone that you are “destined” to be with. These ideals are drilled into our heads from the minute we can comprehend what is going on around us. Pop culture, the media, and people throughout our lives all glorify this idea that there is one person that you’re meant to be with. We don’t mean to come across as harsh, but this simply isn’t true.

woman crying on the couch near tv because she is in impossible love

Reality is not so black-and-white. Although it may feel like this person is “the one”, the truth is that they probably aren’t. Almost eight billion people are living on this planet; if one happened to be an impossible love, you do have options.

It’s also important to remember that love can affect the mind in seemingly insane ways. Our minds tend to exaggerate certain situations that we visualize, daydream, or fantasize about. If this is someone that you know you cannot or should not be with, it’s probably safe for us to assume that you aren’t partaking in any romantic activities with them. Of course, there are exceptions, but for now, we’re going to presume that you are not living out your fantasies with this individual.

If this is the case, you’re likely spending a lot of time thinking about this person. Where you would travel together, what you would do together, what song you would dance to at your wedding… the list goes on. As you’re stringing together these fantasies, you start creating an idealized version of what this person is like and feeding this impossible love further.

Also, in your daydreams, they are a funny, caring, sweet individual with no faults. No one likes to fantasize about getting into arguments or dealing with real-world issues, right? By painting this idealized visual in your mind, you’re not getting an accurate picture of what being in a relationship with this person would be like. At this point, you must come to terms with the fact that your fantasies are not real, and even if they did come to fruition someday, they will not be as perfect as you are picturing them to be.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to walk away from impossible love entirely. And, we don’t just mean physically walking away. Mementos, text messages, voicemails, pictures – whatever it is that reminds you of this person, you need to eliminate from your life. This may also mean removing them from your social media platforms.

While you don’t need to unfriend someone entirely, there are ways for you to hide their profile from appearing on your feed. Whether you cut the cord in a symbolic sense or a more literal sense, to move on, your brain needs room to think about new ideas and other people. It’s hard to do that when your life is cluttered with things that remind you of this person. The more you stay thinking about your impossible love, the more impossible it becomes.

heart in a cage impossible love illustration

Although it’s difficult to deal with impossible love, just know that someday, you will get through it. Going through various relationships, whether they work out or not, whether they’re real or not, can ultimately be a beautiful thing. There is always something to be learned when leaving a relationship, and almost always, the next relationship is even better because of it.

You’re human. You’re hard-wired to love. But you’re also programmed to use your heart in conjunction with your head, and finding that balance is more rewarding than any relationship you’ll ever be in.

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