How to Cope When You Fall In Impossible Love
Updated on July 13, 2021 by Amber & The Team
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IN THIS ARTICLE:
Humans are capable of unconditional love. It’s a beautiful, mystical, sometimes problematic fact of life. While unconditionally loving someone can result in a beautiful relationship, there are times when it can also lead to trouble.
Impossible Love – a Fire That Is Bound To Be Put Out
What Is an Impossible Love?
Have you ever developed a major crush on someone you know you simply can’t be in a relationship with? Perhaps it would be inappropriate for you to be in a relationship with this person for various reasons… Maybe this person is already in a relationship, or worse – married. They could be your supervisor at work, your sibling’s ex, or they may fall into another sticky category. This is where the trouble begins.
It’s not uncommon for a crush to develop into a full-blown love spell, fantasies and all. But when there is no chance of those fantasies becoming reality, it is called impossible love. It’s when you develop serious feelings for someone that you can never be with, and it can lead to some troublesome emotions.
Signs Of Impossible Love
When you’re faced with a dilemma of impossible love, it’s a good idea to pinpoint why this relationship isn’t going to work, to make sure that there is really nothing can be done. There are so many reasons for a relationship to become an impossible love. Let’s take a look at them!
The Main Signs Of Impossible Love:
- When you fall in love with a person who does not have the same feelings for you, it’s also a sign of impossible love.
- A love can be impossible if it’s inappropriate, like falling in romantical love with a married person, parents, siblings, children, teachers, bosses and similar.
- Long-distance can also create a situation that leads to impossible love, especially if one of the lovers can’t agree with a long-distance relationship.
- Falling in love with celebrities (singers, actors, influencers, Youtubers) is very common. Unfortunately, with a few exceptions, these feeling are impossible love too.
- And even simple things, like extreme differences in lifestyles or opinions, can lead a case of impossible love.
If you feel as though you may have fallen into an impossible love situation, keep reading. We’ve outlined some coping mechanisms that may help pull you out of the rabbit hole.
How To Cope With Impossible Love
Now that you know you’re dealing with impossible love… How do you stop wanting someone you can’t have?
1. Gently Work On Accepting Impossible Love And a Bundle Of Emotions It Comes With
If you haven’t already, figure out exactly what it is that makes this an impossible love scenario. Once you’ve done this, start coming to terms with the fact this situation is wrong for you. Easier said than done, yes, but when your feelings are bound to be unanswered, the earlier you deal with them, the easier it will be.
You can look at it this way: we live in a society that romanticizes ideas such as finding “the one” or someone that you are “destined” to be with. These ideals are drilled into our heads from the minute we can comprehend what is going on around us. Pop culture, the media, and people throughout our lives all glorify this idea that there is one person that you’re meant to be with. The one and only love – and we don’t mean to come across as harsh, this simply isn’t true.
Reality is not so black-and-white after all. Although it may feel like your impossible love is “the one”, the truth is that they probably aren’t. Almost eight billion people are living on this planet; if this particular person happened to become an impossible love for you, you still have options. A lot of them! And while it may be very hard to accept this, trust that it is not impossible to stop loving someone – it just takes time and effort.
2. Draw a Line Between Fantasies and Reality
It’s also important to remember that love can affect our mind in seemingly wild ways. Our minds tend to exaggerate certain situations that we visualize, daydream, or fantasize about – including people who fall in love with.
If this is someone that you know you cannot or should not be with, it’s probably safe for us to assume that you aren’t partaking in any romantic activities with them. Of course, there are exceptions, but for now, we’re going to presume that you are not living out your fantasies with this individual.
If this is the case, you’re likely spending a lot of time thinking about this person. Where you would travel together, what you would do together, what song you would dance to at your wedding… The list goes on. Dreaming is beautiful, but as you’re stringing together these fantasies, you start creating an idealized version of what this person is like and feeding this impossible love further.
You should also remember that in your dreams, the person you feel impossible love for may look like an individual with no faults. No one likes to fantasize about getting into arguments or dealing with real-world issues, right? By painting this idealized visual in your mind, you’re not getting an accurate picture of what being in a relationship with this person would be like, in reality.
At this point, you must come to terms with the fact that your fantasies are not real, and even if they did come to fruition someday, they will not be as perfect as you are picturing them to be. For some people, this gentle step away from the fantasy world is very helpful.
3. Walk Away
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to walk away from impossible love entirely. And, we don’t just mean physically walking away. Mementos, text messages, voicemails, pictures – whatever it is that reminds you of this person, you need to eliminate from your life. This may also mean removing them from your social media platforms.
While you don’t need to unfriend someone entirely, there are ways for you to hide their profile from appearing on your feed. Whether you cut the cord in a symbolic sense or a more literal sense, to move on, your brain needs room to think about new ideas and other people. It’s hard to do that when your life is cluttered with things that remind you of this person. The more you stay thinking about your impossible love, the more impossible it becomes.
Will You Let Go Of Impossible Love?
Although it’s difficult to deal with impossible love, just know that someday, you will get through it. Going through various relationships, whether they work out or not, whether they’re real or not, can ultimately be a beautiful thing. There is always something to be learned from leaving a relationship, and almost always, the next relationship is even better because of it.
You’re human. You’re hard-wired to love. But you’re also programmed to use your heart in conjunction with your head, and finding that balance is more rewarding than any impossible love or relationship you’ll ever be in.
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