When the person you care so much about doesn’t bother about you, admitting that to yourself can be quite devastating and heartbreaking. We often hold on to the relationships that we find meaningful, while not realizing that the other person may not feel the same way. Sometimes, you love someone so much that you may even fail to see how the other person is treating you.
Yet, after some time, the picture becomes clear and you realize that they don’t love you anymore, or that they don’t care about you as much as you do about them. This is when you should stop obsessing and get back to life rather than staying heartbroken.
I know, it’s easier said than done. But sometimes, to protect your own mental wellness and self-respect, you need to learn how to stop caring about someone. Knowing their feelings is the first step but managing the reality is the most important, and usually – a difficult step. Being aware that someone you would do anything for wouldn’t even lift a finger for you is a hard pill to swallow.
At first, there are feelings of anger and rage, sadness, helplessness, and then… You just don’t know what to do about it. You feel stuck and sooner or later, you realize that this is not what you deserve and that you need to stop caring. Clinging on to a one-sided relationship (be it a romantic relationship, family relationship, or friendship) is just too dangerous for your mental and physical health.
Here’s how to stop caring about someone without losing yourself.
How To Stop Caring About Someone And Be Okay With It
1. Accept The Fact
It doesn’t help that when you are constantly trying to get the other person to care about you when they don’t care at all. The very first step towards not caring is to accept the truth. Accept that whatever you had with that person has come to an end. Instead of trying to win them back, save your dignity, and let go.
A crucial step to accepting reality is to seek professional help, such as finding one of the registered clinical counsellors in your area. A locally-based counsellor can help shed light on the logical explanation of your thoughts and behavior, allowing you to realize their existing and potential consequences. With professional help, you might find the best solution that’ll help you fully resolve all your guilt and ill feelings.
2. Accept Your Feelings
Sometimes you may find yourself trying really hard to stop caring but it isn’t helping at all. It might be because you are not doing it the right way and this usually happens when you try to hide from your feelings.
You must accept your feelings and allow yourself to fully feel them until they lose power. Trying to fool yourself that it is not painful will bring you nothing but more pain. Accept that you love that person unconditionally and it is painful to let them go. Yet, it is normal to feel that way. Don’t be ashamed of the pain you feel, as it is part of the process.
P. S. I know it’s all easier said than done. Accepting hard feelings is not an easy task… However, there is a way to help yourself process these uncomfortable emotions and help your heart heal.
Check out my free, favorite printable tool that can help you to do a little bit of emotional self care, and allow you to accept negative feelings easier (this will also help you feel better): the thought workbook.
3. Don’t Let Them Rule You, Not Anymore
Yes, you are heartbroken, but that doesn’t mean you have no integrity left. You are a human being who deserves respect and love. You can feel the pain right now but you cannot let that pain overwhelm your life and take all the right things from you. Try to stay in the right mindset and choose yourself over these negative feelings that are bringing you nothing but pain.
You deserve to be happy and only you can make it happen. Your happiness never did, is not, and will never be just a by-product of a particular relationship. Your happiness is in you, and you’re the only one who decides whether you will allow yourself to be happy, no matter what happens in your life.
4. Let Go Of The Past
When a relationship ends, we often have this habit of fantasizing and idealizing the past. You often think about the time you spent with that person and about how great that was. The loneliness you feel right now makes you think that the person had no flaws and you could have endured more. Or even worse – that the person could have changed for you, but didn’t.
If you start thinking about how perfect it was and how you have lost the single best thing in your life… This is not the time to think about all of this.
You must let go of all those moments and move on. I’m not saying you should forget them completely… Keep them in a “box” in your heart. Remember them once in a while and be grateful for those beautiful moments, but do not spend your days just reminiscing. Why? Because if you do, you are still living and don’t give yourself an opportunity to move on.
5. Life… Happens
Sometimes, life is just harsh. The sooner we accept this the better we can be.
It happens to all of us… You get heartbroken, and it feels like your whole world is burning, but sooner or later, you must get back to your feet. Admit that it is a part of life and your life doesn’t end here. There is so much more to life than an unhappy relationship where you are giving and not getting anything back. The sooner you admit this, the sooner you’ll recover and the better you can feel about yourself.
It is hard not to care about someone you once loved so much… But it is necessary for your own mental and physical health. You cannot be in a relationship where you are not getting anything back, because it will eat you inside and out. It’s a hard decision, and a hard thing to go through, but it is not impossible. You can endure it, and you can be happy again.
I hope these tips have shown you how to stop caring about someone and be okay with it. Scroll down for more tips below!