How To Stop Feeling Like a Failure

Updated on

In this post, we may use links to the products we find helpful or cute.

  • 267

So you’ve landed on this article. In fact, it should be called a letter to every sad little soul who feels like a failure right now – I might have something to lift you out of this dark cloud you’re in.

I can’t even express how easy it is to be brought down in this world right now. These high demands everywhere (work, family, relationships, looks, achievements) can feel overwhelming already, and just in case you fail at something important, it can take a split of a second to feel like a failure. If you’re prone to anxiety or gloomy moods, it only adds up.

I know this so well because I’ve been in this dark cloud numerous times. I have tried, I have failed, I tried again, I failed again. But here I am – alive, safe, moving forward and not going to stop. Here’s how I overcame feeling like a failure – and you can too.


How To Stop Feeling Like a Failure


Understand That You Are Not What You Do Or Have


This is the first thing to remember when you feel like a failure: what you do, what your job is, what you own, how you look is NOT who you are. These are just your life situations, things or surroundings. The amount of your achievements is also not who you are.

Think about it – if you wiped out everything from your memory – would you be… nothing? You wouldn’t. You would still be You, just not affected by the things that happened in your life.

Being able to disidentify from your life situation can be an extremely liberating thing. Did you fail? So what – “wipe it out” and don’t let it destroy the real You, which is the only thing that really matters. YOU. Not your career, relationships, possessions or achievements.

“So should I just stop trying to advance in life? Should I stop chasing my dreams?”

Hell, no! You should go for it with all of your heart, but NOT because you have to, NOT because you’re useless without it, but because it is something you want to do, something that can improve your life situation -NOT something that can complete you. You already are complete. Goals, careers, relationships & success are just the cherries on the cake and chasing them should be an entertaining game, not a never-ending fight.


Failures Can Be Good For You


If you stop letting failure to define you, it can actually become beneficial. Every failure is a lesson, even if it’s painful.

Can you ride a bike? Remember how you were learning to do it. You’ve probably fallen a few times, probably cried looking at that scraped knee and thought that “it’s just impossible to ride a thing with only two narrow wheels!”. But you tried again, learned to avoid those bumpy rocks on the road, strived to keep that balance – until you’ve learned to ride like a little queen of Tour De France.

Every painful experience teaches you a valuable lesson. If you feel like a failure right now, think about everything that led you to this thought and look for a deeper meaning. What have you learned? What information have you gathered?

TRENDING:  The Best Morning Routine To Soothe Morning Anxiety

It doesn’t matter how long your life has been going in the downward spiral – it’s never too late to look back, appreciate what you’ve learned, accept the pain, and move up.


You Can Change, Even If It Takes Multiple Tries



If people gave up on their dreams as soon as they felt like a failure, this world wouldn’t be as it is right now. Heck, we wouldn’t even have electricity if Nikola decided that he’s a failure and it’s not worth trying anymore.

Even if you feel like you or your life is a mess, especially if you already tried changing it several times and failed, it’s not an end yet. You can push through this dark cloud, try again and work on your dreams until you succeed.

My own life experience taught me that those “Never give up” quotes are true. There were times when I was depressed, broke, completely unmotivated and anxious to the sky, but I always focused on NOT abandoning my goals. If I needed a pause, I took a pause. If I needed to realign myself, I did that for a while (mindfulness, meditation, and journaling work great for this). If I wanted to cry, I cried until I looked like a dragon with blood-shot eyes.

And after that, I went straight back to my goal planners and pushed through.

I don’t say that my life is perfect now – it isn’t. But I learned that failing and trying again, even multiple times is NOT wrong. For some people is just a way to go forward. You might be one of those people and it’s fine.


How To Stop Giving a Damn


If you feel like a failure right now, here’s what you should do:

  1. Rethink everything that causes these thoughts.
  2. Accept every failure and thank it for the lessons it taught you.
  3. Agree that your failures, achievements, possessions, and looks are NOT YOU.
  4. Let everything go. Scream, cry if you need it. Set yourself free.
  5. Decide to not give a single damn about your failures.
  6. Set new goals (you can use my goal planning bundle for that).
  7. Accept the fact that you might fail again and be OK with this.
  8. Give a genuine effort to change what it is you don’t like in your life.
  9. And if you ever need to – do these steps again. Just don’t settle with this feeling of failure.

Most importantly – stop giving a damn about what others think about you or the way you live your life. Wear your failures like a crown and if anyone ever tries to tell you how you should live, refer back to your goals and ask yourself – is it them, or you who set those goals? Is it your life, or their life?

Here’s more on that:

How To Not Care What Other People Think Of You

TRENDING:  How To Motivate Yourself Every Morning, No Matter What's Waiting Ahead

How To Be More Comfortable In Your Own Skin

And here are some useful tools for this situation:

I hope this helps.

… Be a queen.

Was this helpful?

Click one of these buttons to rate this article.
How To Stop Feeling Like a Failure Get out of this feeling and be a QUEEN instead.
5 1 5 4

  • 267

More Like This

How To Organize Your Life If You’re Anxious About Everything

An anxious girl's guide to getting organized for good ... Read More
How To Organize Your Life If You're Anxious About Everything

How To Have a Perfect “Get Your Life Together” Day

We people are lazy. I mean, we'd rather have some good time with Netflix, don't we? ... Read More
How To Have a Perfect "Get Your Life Together" Day

10 Delightful Stress Relief Activities For Introverts

Relax and destress without interacting to other people (a dream come true?) ... Read More
10 Delightful Stress Relief Activities For Introverts

How To Overcome Your Weakness

Having a weakness can actually be great for you ... Read More
How To Overcome Your Weakness

How To Cope With Anxiety Naturally: 5 Ideas To Try Now

This is what I do when my anxiety is sky-rocketing ... Read More
How To Cope With Anxiety Naturally: 5 Ideas To Try Now

How To Stop Being Jealous

"Flowers do not compete with each other. They BLOOM together." ... Read More
How To Stop Being Jealous

How To Feel Grateful When Life Gets Hard

This crazy technique helps me to go through hard times easier ... Read More
How To Feel Grateful When Life Gets Hard

10 Ways Spending Time With Family Can Make You Happier

Your family has more power on your happiness than you can imagine ... Read More
happy couple and a baby spending time with family

7 Simple Ways To Speed Up Your Mental Health Recovery

Grab these helpful ideas to promote mental healing and self-soothe ... Read More
7 Simple Ways To Speed Up Your Mental Health Recovery

The Best Morning Routine To Soothe Morning Anxiety

Morning anxiety is scary & annoying, but you can make it better ... Read More
The Best Morning Routine To Soothe Morning Anxiety

Topics you might like...

MENTAL HEALTH Self help Self Love

Trending At The Shop