How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone With One Life-Changing Rule
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If you’ve been living a life based on self-limiting beliefs, you probably feel like you’re seriously missing out.
You could be doing so many great things, achieving huge goals, making your dreams come true, but there’s ALWAYS SOMETHING.
Something that seems to come in the way and prevent you from doing it.
Most of the time – it’s not something inevitable like a natural disaster…
More likely, it’s just the negative self-talk, fear of failure, self-doubt, fear, anxiety and various negative emotions that prevent us from doing beautiful things.
I was reading letters from a few readers and couldn’t help but notice the same self-talk patterns in all of them: “I can’t … I am afraid to … I don’t have enough of … It seems impossible to … and so on.
This has reminded me of the opposite action rule that I’ve found a few years ago and it’s one of those life-changing things that can help you turn all of those limiting thoughts upside down.
It’s ridiculously simple, and at the same time – not the easiest one to implement… But it’s incredibly worth it and I think it can help almost every single person who feels like they’re stuck in the comfort zone of their fear.
Let’s see what it’s all about.
How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone With One Life-Changing Rule
The Rule That Turns It All Upside Down
No, I’m not talking about what happened in Stranger Things here… (I loved it though). And it’s not even the “one rule to rule them all”… (I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll stop now).
The opposite action rule is a way to control your emotions and do the opposite thing to get rid of unwanted emotions and create a more positive result. In psychology, it’s used as a way to cope with negative emotions and control your reactions.
For example, if you have an anger problem and someone made you angry, you most likely want to attack the person. This, of course, is not the best way to express your feelings. Moreover, it can create more negative emotions if you took the path of attacking. Reminding yourself of the opposite action rule can help to control that anger and protect you.
Now, I noticed that this opposite action rule can also be applied to self-improvement.
One of the reasons people get stuck in their comfort zone is fear, because change is almost always associated with some level of fear and uncertainty. This fear creates avoidance behavior which can be directed towards our life or ourselves.
Here’s an example.
There’s a particular skill Linda could learn, and it would possibly open her higher career opportunities. She wants to learn it, finds a perfect course and gathers enough money to pay for it. Yet… She can’t seem to start, because deep in her heart:
- She is not sure enough if it will pay off;
- She doubts if she is really capable of handling a more important post at work.
Linda carries these limiting emotions (uncertainty and self-doubt) in her head and doesn’t even notice how suddenly she “doesn’t have enough time” and she “doesn’t feel ready” to learn that skill.
Her thoughts have created a fear response and, since we always do whatever we can to get away from scary things, she then develops avoidance behavior.
Now, just imagine what would be different if Linda noticed her fearful avoidance and chose to do the exact opposite action. Of course, she would learn the skill, improve herself and just ignore the fact that she may not even get that better job… Because it’s not the job she’s focused on anymore. She’s focused on herself and the ways she can become a better professional.
“Okay Amber, so basically I just have to do the opposite? That’s it?”
Yes and no.
Yes, it’s what it is – noticing self-limiting thoughts like (“I can’t even try”) and doing the opposite (“I will try”). Or eliminating negative emotions like (“I’m scared to try”) by modifying them with an opposite action (“I will try”). It’s very simple and it’s a door that opens up a ton of new opportunities and a happier, more interesting life.
*** Important! ***
This rule should be used as a way to gently push yourself out of the comfort zone. Do not use the opposite action rule when there is any real danger. Trusting your gut is not a self-limiting belief when it comes to safety.
DO NOT go jumping with a parachute if you know you can’t take it.
DO buy that red dress you like, even though you’re scared to wear something that bright.
*** Over and out ****
Now the problem with the opposite action rule is that it’s hard to notice those negative emotions and beliefs in your mindset. For most of us, they’ve become a silent automatic response that’s not so easy to detect.
In order to break free and open yourself up for those beautiful changes, you have to actively watch what you’re saying to yourself in your head. You have to catch those negative thoughts and emotions, so you can then plan your opposite action.
How To Apply This Rule In Your Life To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
So, if just doing the opposite was so easy, we would all be advancing in life like crazy, right? But we don’t.
To apply this rule in your life, you need to do it in a practical way by catching those unpleasant emotions and thoughts on paper.
Take a sheet of paper and write every limiting thought down. Do it for a few days and you will collect a nice bucket of self-limiting beliefs! 🙂
You should then go through them and decide which ones should just go right now, and which ones are seriously preventing you from having a better life.
Take these and write down the exact opposite action you can take.
Here’s a simple example:
“I can’t go to the work party because I am not confident enough and I have nothing to say”.
The opposite action could be:
“I will go to the work party and see if I can practice my confidence by chatting in a company”.
Well, I told you change is scary, didn’t I ? 🙂
Just One Thing To Remember
As with everything, it’s not a magic pill. There will be times when this rule simply won’t work or give the best result.
But… Everything in life is learned by trial and error. Just sitting and watching life go by is not a solution as well.
I hope you will try this rule in your life, get out of your comfort zone and achieve many beautiful things. Good luck!