How To Be More Outgoing
Let’s get you comfortable in any social situation.
Researched, written by Amber & The Team
Updated on January 22, 2023
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Not everyone was born with an innate ability to speak loudly or the knack for opening up to a complete stranger. If you’re a shy person, it can be especially difficult. Shyness is not an incurable disorder or disease. It is learned. Now, learning how to be more outgoing is about doing the opposite: gaining self-confidence, realizing you have a lot to give, and opening up to others, so they can open up to you.
If you feel uncomfortable speaking in public or find yourself avoiding social situations, you probably have a quiet personality and that’s okay. Perhaps you tend to keep to yourself and avoid contact to feel safer and more comfortable. However, learning how to become more outgoing can improve a very important, social part of your life. Here are 10 tips on how to do just that.
How To Be More Outgoing: Everything You Need To Know And Where To Start
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What Does It Mean To Be an Outgoing Person?
To be an outgoing person means that you are the type of person that people want to communicate with and become friends with.
The way that an outgoing person is able to connect with people is by opening up to others and engaging in conversations. By having an interest in the lives of others we are able to put ourselves in a position of giving and receiving. We become compassionate and understanding. This is appealing to other people, and they become drawn to a person who acts this way.
Is It Hard To Become More Outgoing?
It is simple, but not easy, and most of the time depends on your personality and where you are. On one hand, there is a type of people – extroverts – who are naturally popular among people. Extroverts have no trouble being outgoing because they’re naturally drawn to interacting, talking, and communicating with others – they simply love it, even thrive on it!
On the other hand, almost anyone can become more outgoing by learning to be more confident and self-aware. The thing is, when we are comfortable and happy in any given situation, we are not thinking about what someone else thinks about us. We feel open, friendly, and willing to interact with others. This is how our true potential comes to light, and we act as outgoing as we can be.
How To Be More Outgoing In Various Social Situations?
These tips will show you how to be more outgoing anywhere you go.
1. Be a great listener
You’ve probably heard this one over and over again, but often people forget that it’s a big deal to be a good listener. The truth is that people come into social settings with very defined opinions about who they are, what they like, and what they want. And often, those opinions are different than what others think. Taking the time to listen to what other people have to say can go a long way, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, because people just want to be heard. It’s also a sign of emotional intelligence to be able to really hear other people, understand that they might see things differently, and not get offended by that.
2. Learn to use and read body language
In social situations, you can usually tell if someone is shy, nervous, excited, or even bored by what is happening. Learn how to use body language signs to “read” someone and engage them in conversation accordingly. Also, watch the signals your own body is sending:
- Are you standing straight?
- Are you smiling a bit?
- Are you not afraid of eye contact?
- Are you acting confident?
Another simple, yet important tip on how to be more outgoing is to notice how other people are dressed. If you see that people are wearing clothes that fit their body type, that’s a great sign that they are comfortable right now. If they seem uncomfortable in their clothes, this most definitely affects how they feel in the social setting too.
3. Speak up
One of the most effective tips on how to be more outgoing is to try to speak up in a group or social situation, especially when the timing is just perfect. It may sound strange to you, but it’s a common situation in social gatherings when someone is talking about something that either put them in a bad light or that they just aren’t comfortable discussing. By speaking up, you can help that person to feel more comfortable and to add more perspective to the chat. Of course, speaking up takes practice, and most of all – courage. Yet the more you do that, the easier it will become, so it’s best to still do it, even if you’re scared!
4. Be more outgoing by tackling your insecurities
People who are outgoing have no problem acknowledging their insecurities and they do not try to avoid meeting new people. They’re never scared of showing their vulnerable side, and that makes other people feel more comfortable and welcomed around.
Note: Always remind yourself that everybody has insecurities, even if they try to hide them.
5. Dress for the occasion
Most times you will find that if you dress up appropriately for an event, you will feel more outgoing. That is because the event is going to feel more comfortable and you will, well, look your best! Similarly, if you go to a party or a club, don’t be afraid to dress with bolder attires. At these places, feel free to put on your nicest outfit, which will show that you are trying to make an impact socially. This alone can send a signal that you’re an outgoing person.
6. Always say “yes” to a small talk
Small talk is an underrated way to appear more outgoing. Everyone has something to say, and everyone likes to have a good listen. Again, it is important to listen to what someone else has to say because after all, it could help you figure out how to approach another person, solve their problem and win over their heart.
To make small talk more effective, do not talk too much. Instead, talk just enough to make others feel comfortable.
7. Build your confidence
Confidence means that you are sure of yourself and are not afraid of doing the right thing. If you fear doing something wrong, you will not be able to do it because you will be afraid of looking silly or making a mistake. The same goes for wearing a specific outfit, speaking formally, or having a bold appearance. When you have confidence, you will not be afraid to take risks or stand up for yourself. You will be able to show others that you are strong and in control. You will be able to talk to anyone around!
Related: 25 Ways To Drastically Increase Your Confidence
8. Challenge your social anxiety
Some people will find it extremely difficult to be bold and go out of their comfort zone. It’s especially prominent in people who struggle with social anxiety, and one of the best ways to change that is to challenge it!
If you have an opportunity to be out in public with several people, take advantage of it! Even if you do not feel comfortable, try to make eye contact, smile, and walk slowly. Straighten up. Talk to people, even if you’re scared to say something silly. If you do, try to fix it by saying a joke. If it doesn’t work – who cares! You can’t learn how to be more outgoing without literally practicing it,. And even though failure may be inevitable, it can be extremely valuable.
9. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Sometimes, it will be necessary for you to ask questions during your conversation. If you have to, do not hesitate to do so. There is nothing wrong with asking questions when you do not know something or you do not understand something. You may not always know what to say but asking questions will help you gain information, o you can participate in a discussion. At the same time, you are showing that you are interested. If you can, go the extra mile and ask people questions about something you know they’re experts about. People love sharing their knowledge and talk about their achievements, so the fact that you’re interested in them creates a positive social connection.
10. Try to relax
In general, people who are not the best in conversations, tend to become stiff and awkward. For this reason, you should learn how to relax so that you can be more outgoing. You will need to learn how to enjoy conversations, how to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations, and how to make people like you. With practice, these tips on how to become more outgoing will help you to make better social skills and improve your interaction with people – but you have to let it happen! Try to relax, both physically AND emotionally, in order to be more outgoing.
How To Be More Outgoing: The Recap
These tips on how to be more outgoing will help you when you’re in a new place, at work, and in other social situations. Remember that it’s all about making the right choices, practicing, building social skills, and feeling good! When you get comfortable in any situation, you will tend to feel a lot more outgoing. This is when other people will start to enjoy your company, just as you enjoy theirs.
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We strive to use high-quality information and deliver content that is based on science, latest research, comprehensive studies, or expert advice. These reputable sources have influenced or inspired this article:
- Szczygiel D, Mikolajczak M. Is It Enough to Be an Extrovert to Be Liked? Emotional Competence Moderates the Relationship Between Extraversion and Peer-Rated Likeability. Front Psychol. 2018;9:804. Published 2018 May 23. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00804
- Kacperek L. Non-verbal communication: the importance of listening. Br J Nurs. 1997 Mar 13-26;6(5):275-9. doi: 10.12968/bjon.19126.96.36.1995. PMID: 9155278.
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