How To Deal With Grief

Updated on December 16, 2022 by

Grieving Woman

// We recommend helpful products in our articles. Read our full disclosure here.

Your subscription could not be saved. Please try again.
Your subscription has been successful!

It's good to KNOW.

Subscribe to our newsletter for fresh, life-improving topics.

Woman In Grief

We have all had to experience feeling grief in our time; some loss will be monumental and others small. However, our reactions to the death of someone we loved, whether it is a parent, partner, friend, or pet, can last with us for months and even years. Life’s greatest gift is the bond and love we feel for another. The high cost for this gift is the devastation that comes when this gift is taken from us. While death is the most common reason to feel grief, it is also a normal response to divorce and to the loss of a job.

The first step to dealing with grief is to appreciate it as a shared experience. The next step is to seek any support you might need to guide you through the emotional, physical, and spiritual impacts of the loss. Here we offer some insights to help.

 

Bereavement and grief

 

Bereavement is the period when you have experienced a loss. It is usually time-limited and is defined by conventions and expectations. The difficulty lies in the difference between a period of bereavement and that of grief. Often, our grief extends long beyond the time that people perceive us as having experienced bereavement.

Grief is a complex response. When we lose something or someone, we do not only respond emotionally. Our physical well-being is shaken; we struggle to keep up social connections, and our spirituality is challenged.

While bereavement is often thought to be the period of most acute grief, it is not to underestimate the power of response beyond this time.

 

What are the symptoms of grief?

 

Symptoms is a strange word for what you feel when you lose someone. It suggests a disorder when the emotional and physical reactions are a normal part of processing the experience.

The emotional symptoms to be expected include crying constantly or maybe a feeling of complete numbness and disconnect. You may be more anxious and for a long-time struggle to find any joy in life.

As our emotions directly impact our physical wellbeing, this trauma will also manifest in problems with the gut, headaches, muscle soreness, and even pain in the chest. While this physical response is normal, if it feels extreme or lasts for a long time, you may want to seek advice from your GP.

 

The five-stage model of grieving

 

No one experiences grief exactly as the person next to them. There is, however, a model of grief that is widely recognized. This five-stage process represents a journey that most of us will recognize even if we did not follow it completely.

First, we may struggle with denial. We will not want to believe the news we have been given. We may continue to wait for the person we have lost to appear.

Second, we may suffer from extremes of anger. It could be this is directed at the lost loved one, yourself or another. There will be the need to blame someone.

Next, there is a period of bargaining. Here you look to make deals in the hope you can wish your loved one back to life or exchange yourself for them.

The fourth stage will likely last the longest. The period of depression could hold you in its power for months or years. It is that sense that you can never enjoy life in the same way.

Finally, we reach acceptance. Acceptance does not mean we forget but that time has passed, and we can begin to see a life without the person we have lost.

The sense that at some point time will allow us to move on and the pain will decrease is essential to your belief in your recovery from grief. While at the time it feels this upset will never ease, there is much evidence to suggest you will move on.

 

How to cope when it gets too much

 

While we are suggesting that showing patience and allowing the process of grief to pass through, you may feel it has gone on too long. You should make this determination. No one ever feels better when asked by an outside party to “get over it”. As someone who is grieving, you need to decide if the level of grief you are experience is prolonged or complicated.

You may want to start by talking to friends and relatives. Often sharing stories about the loved one can help. If this doesn’t seem to be working, you can ask for help from your GP. The doctor may offer you medication or suggest grief counseling. You should consider this option if you are considering suicide or self-harm. There are other organizations, such as Mind and The Grief Trust who can organize one-to-one chats or support groups.

Finally, it is important to hear that grief takes time to pass and everyone feels it in one way or another. You are neither alone nor acting abnormally. You first need to allow yourself to feel the grief to allow it to pass through.

Editor-in-chief and co-authors at ShineSheets.com

"We love to research, examine, analyze, and present to you the best ideas that make life better. You can learn about our editorial standards here."

fear of failure statue

Fear Of Failure: How To Overcome It & Start Living In Success

Don't let the fear of failure stand in your way to success.
harnessing personal powers art photography

3 Personal Powers You Probably Forgot You Have

Remind yourself of how much power you actually have in this world! These 3 personal powers are something you should embrace every day.
Brunette woman in the sunset practicing self love

50 Ways To Practice Self Love Every Day

Let's get your self love game on top.
young woman with a dual disorder

Dual Diagnosis: The Overlap Between Addiction and Mental Health Disorders

Addiction and mental health disorders are inextricably intertwined.
beautiful black woman smiling and looking down confidently

How To Be Proud Of Yourself

If you're doubting whether it's important to be proud of yourself... Read this.
woman wondering how to stay hopeful in difficult times

How To Stay Hopeful In Difficult Times: 3 Things That Help Immensely

When going through so many daily struggles, looking for sources of optimism is essential.
boy with adhd hugging emotional support animal (golden retriever)

How to Determine If My Child Needs an Emotional Support Animal?

Emotional support animals got extra-popular lately.
walking through black ground i hate my life art photography

“I hate my life”: 7 Sensible Ways To Change Things For The Better

There are so many reasons to hate your life... And so many options to change it!
woman enjoying mental stability and joy

7 Helpful Ways to Improve Mental Stability

The goal of establishing and maintaining mental stability is to improve your overall quality of life.
inspiring words on how to be fearless in life

How To Be Fearless In Your Life: 3 Life-Changing Things To Know

Let go of your fears and live a brave + confident life.
brave woman setting an example on how to stay positive

How To Stay Positive When Life Keeps Giving You Problems

How to switch the "Oh no!" into "This is fine and I can handle this".
mentally strong woman

50 Articles That Help You Build Remarkable Mental Strength

Rebuild your mental balance with these powerful reads.

Read More

Mental Health Self help