How To Deal With Annoying People + Stay Calm Around Them
For when that annoying coworker keeps driving you crazy.
Researched, written by Amber & The Team
Updated on January 13, 2023
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We live in a social world, that’s obvious. And even if you don’t like people in general, the ability for humans to communicate is a miracle that led us to the world we have, and one can say that our world is pretty advanced.
But, since there are so many of us, it’s pretty easy to bump into someone who is so different that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t find a reason to like him or her. Moreover, the things this person says or does may even start to annoy you.
“Live and let live, don’t judge, take life as it comes and deal with it.” – someone once said. So let’s take a look at how to deal with annoying people once they come into your life!
Why Do I Get Annoyed Easily?
There’s nothing wrong to be annoyed by other people – it’s practically impossible to like everyone, just as it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. And, well, let’s be honest – some people are simply rude and don’t have a single grain of empathy and only care about themselves.
Usually, people get easily annoyed for reasons like:
- being sensitive to loud sounds and dynamic environments;
- general anxiety;
- stress and irritation;
- struggle to understand others or to be understood;
- negative thinking.
Why Are People Annoying?
People can be annoying for many reasons. Some of them simply don’t understand that they’re being annoying, others do that on purpose.
By watching an annoying person, you might even notice subtle signs that show why this person is so annoying:
- Maybe he or she is craving more attention because no one gave it to him or her in childhood.
- Maybe there’s a subtle sign of low confidence, or a need to be right in every situation.
- Maybe there’s strange neediness or a case of racing thoughts that he or she needs to express because they create restlessness.
None of this concerns you, but it can help you to look at the person from another point of view.
Think broadly and notice that you don’t really need to prove to someone your opinion – some people are just unable to accept a different view. And that’s totally fine! You know you, and that’s enough. You don’t need other people to agree with you, nor do you need to agree with other people to know what is right for you.
How do you respond to annoying people?
Don’t be afraid to be the silent one!
You might think that being silent means being weak, but in the case of annoying people, it’s usually one of the best ways to cope. Staying silent does not mean saying absolutely zero words, but instead – choosing to be in a more of a listening position.
If the person is annoying you, you can simply allow him or her to be the leading side of the conversation as this allows that person to load off the excess energy, but also protects your own. You probably won’t find any agreement points anyway, so it is best to let it be the way it is and accept the fact that this person might not be the one you like, including the words he or she says.
What do you say to an annoying person?
Communicate without reacting.
If you let yourself get into a reactive mode, you will probably get into a conflict. Now, there’s no reason to avoid conflict if someone is threatening you or is completely wrong about something that relates to you. It’s OK to stand up for yourself.
But if you feel like the person is just trying to annoy you on purpose, or if you simply disagree with what this person says, take a deep breath and try to not get reactive.
If you feel negative emotions rising (anger, resentment, annoyance, or irritation), choose to not let those emotions in. Imagine them floating around, but not being a part of you. In other words – notice them, but try to separate from them and just let them be around.
Know that nothing and no one has the ability, or a right to disturb your inner peace. You have it, and it’s yours. You can always choose to simply observe the situation or other people, without getting entangled with what they say or do.
What do you do when someone is purposely annoying you?
Stay calm and do not fuel the fire with your body language.
Grins, rolling eyes and squinting may come out naturally when someone annoying is around, but, if noticed, they might spark an unnecessary conflict.
Don’t try to look protective too – crossed legs and arms show a sign of protectiveness and thus can send a subliminal message that you feel weak.
Instead, try to keep a calm and relaxed body position and a calm face. This sends a sign that you are not getting reactive, therefore an annoying person does not get agitated or provocative.
How do I stop getting annoyed so easily?
Stay actively learning how to deal with negative people.
If you often have to deal with annoying, manipulating, or irritating people, I highly recommend you broaden your spectrum and read a few books to learn more subtle and effective ways to deal with them. Here are a few that can help you a lot.
1. Learn how to deal with annoying people who are also difficult:
Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People
2. Learn how to deal with annoying people who also try to manipulate you:
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
3. Learn how to deal with annoying people who also happen to be your parents:
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
How To Deal With Annoying People: The Bottom Line
As you can see, the best way to deal with annoying people is by staying calm, not getting reactive, and not giving this person your energy by keeping a minimal conversation and a relaxed body language.
Try it once and you will notice that you always have a choice to not be influenced by other people.
If you find it hard to relax after being around an annoying person, mindfulness exercises can be of great help.
And remember – no matter what other people are saying or doing, it’s you who decides how all of this affects you.
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