How To Cope When You Are Feeling Unwanted
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“I am feeling unwanted.
What can I do to help myself feel better?”
Humans are made to create connections with others.
This is evident in how we live as families, create friendships, live in communities and societies, fall in love, and even adopt and love pets.
Just as your need for connection, loneliness is also natural for humans.
It’s also natural to be feeling unwanted when you don’t have the level of connection that you want with others.
If you are feeling unwanted today, please don’t give up; you can feel better.
Let’s take a look at what can be done.
Feeling Unwanted: How To Cope And Improve Your Situation
1. Express Your Needs
The first thing you should do when you are feeling unwanted is talk about it.
Express your feelings and needs to those who are making you feel this way.
They might get defensive and be a bit hurt initially, but if they truly care for you, they will be willing to listen and work with you to find solutions.
When you share your feelings, it is best to be specific about what you feel and when.
Say, “When you do ____, I feel unwanted because ______.” Or “When _______ happens, I feel that my need for ______ isn’t being met.” If you can be honest with yourself and others, you are more likely to work through the problems and find solutions.
2. Start the Connection
If your friends, family, or romantic partner seems to be growing more distant, you should act now to try and rebuild that connection.
You will need to be the one to reach out to them.
You can’t just wait for them to find time for you.
Set up times to call them, get together and chat, or spend time together doing an activity.
Even if they can only spare an hour, take the time and do something to reconnect.
You can also be the one to reach out to new people to fill your need for human connection.
If you want to be a part of a group, join one or start one instead of waiting for them to invite you.
Being active in your effort to feel wanted will give you a sense of satisfaction and will be way more effective than passively waiting for affection and connection to find you.
3. Become Your Own Best Friend
You can’t make others want you.
If your attempts to express yourself have fallen on deaf ears, and your relations don’t want to spend time with you, you must be your best friend.
It may take practice, but it will be worth it.
Conceptually, being your own friend is simple.
Just think of what you would want from a friend and be that for yourself.
Go out and do fun things even if no one wants to come with you.
Provide yourself with encouragement and motivation.
When your hard work pays off, be your biggest fan and celebrate your successes.
Use your inner voice to reassure and speak kindly to yourself.
A good friend cares about your needs and helps you meet them, so be aware of and take care of your needs.
Be honest with yourself and get to know yourself the way that a best friend would. Friends build each other up and help each other reach their full potential.
Do this for yourself.
Feeling Unwanted In Toxic Relationships
You can feel unwanted in any relationship, from strangers to close family and friends.
While feeling unwanted usually comes from a lack of attention from well-meaning people, it can also come from negative or even harmful attention.
If you are feeling unwanted, you should ensure that the relationship you are in isn’t toxic.
In a toxic relationship, one person is abusive and manipulative towards another.
They feed on your pain and sorrow and are actively trying to hurt you.
If you think you are in a toxic relationship, minimize contact with that person and seek help.
Can You Be Feeling Unwanted Because Of Anxiety?
Yes, you might be prone to feeling unwanted if you suffer from anxiety.
Anxiety makes you feel “unworthy of love,” even if it is not true.
Sometimes, anxiety comes from a lack of self-confidence or a negative self-image.
If you have constant anxiety, you are likely over-analyzing every detail of your interactions with others until you plant doubts about how they feel about you.
Remember – nothing is true unless it’s a fact.
Take time to check if your feelings are truly based on the actions of others or just doubts caused by anxiety.
Feeling Unwanted In Family And Friend Relationships
You may be feeling unwanted by your friends or family because they seem to ignore you or they feel distant.
This often happens because they are focused on what is happening in their lives.
They may be extremely busy or stressed, leaving little time and thought for contacting you.
If this pattern continues, you will feel more distanced from them and even more unwanted.
Thankfully, people often don’t typically stay overwhelmingly busy for long, so the situation may naturally improve on its own.
If it doesn’t, you can be the one to start a change and work with your friends and family to recover your connections and build even stronger ones.
In general, it’s a good idea to ask if someone doesn’t want you around.
This is the most logical way to get an answer and the reasoning behind it.
Feeling Unwanted In Romantic Relationships
Whether this relationship is new budding or you have been together for a long time, feeling unwanted here can be especially painful.
In your romantic relationship, you may experience the same lack of attention and time as with friends and family.
You can also feel like you are never heard, that your needs never matter, and you may feel like your partner has no interest in being emotionally or physically intimate with you.
Once again, if they care for you, you can work with them to improve things.
Talk about the things that make you feel sad and lonely.
Try to find ways to improve the situation together.
It’s important to hear your partner too.
Feeling Unwanted Should Never Define You
Don’t let your feelings of being unwanted define you and confine you to a place of misery.
You are so much more than these temporary feelings.
It’s okay to feel unwanted, but you don’t need to obsess over and romanticize these feelings.
That won’t help you at all.
Find Fulfilment Despite Feeling Unwanted
Whoever you want to be, take the time to become your best version and love yourself fully.
Doing so might mean enhancing the skills and qualities that you already have.
It might also include learning new skills or beginning new hobbies.
You are worth the time, energy, and money to better yourself and find purpose in your daily living.
Chances are that you will find others who will want you in their social circles as you follow your passions or work on improving your life.
And even if you don’t find them, you will want you.
And that’s enough.
Conclusion
When you’re feeling unwanted by others, it’s easy to feel sad, forgotten, and lonely.
But you can help yourself feel better, even if you can’t change what others think about you.
Let this part of your life slide away.
Open doors for different, better, happier, and brighter things.
Allow yourself to explore your inner world.
Nurture your relationship with yourself.
Choose joy and rest assured that better days are on the way, with or without others.
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