How To Argue And Win Without Offending Others
Win arguments AND stay friends with others? Mission possible.
Researched, written by Amber & The Team
Updated on January 22, 2023
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How you manage conflicts establishes the level of trust and bond you have with the people around you. Mostly, conflicts boil deep down inside us and only require a trigger point to emerge outside. Just like a fire match only needs a spark to burst into flame.
If you found yourself in an argument with your partner, family member, coworker, or friend, it doesn’t have to end in a full-blown conflict and days of silence. There are a few ways to transform arguments into healthy discussions and prove your point of view without offending anyone. Here’s how to argue and win every time – in a way that helps you to both prove your point and keep your relationships unhurt.
How To Argue And Win Every Time Without Offending Others
1. Make Sure Your Point Is Correct
Some people tend to argue just for the sake of arguing. If you ended up in an argument yourself, the first thing to assess is whether your own point of view is right and based on real facts. If you feel like you might be very wrong, don’t argue at all – it doesn’t make sense and you will most likely lose.
But if you’re sure you are arguing about something you have enough knowledge or experience on, then you can move on to proving your point in a professional, empathetic and civilized way.
Related: How to not be afraid of conflict and confrontation
2. Your Arguments Should Be Relevant To The TOPIC
If you want to argue your point of view correctly, you need to understand the argument of your opponent, too. A common mistake people do when arguing is attacking the person and not focusing on their argument.
If you want to argue and win every time without ever offending someone, you should focus on defending your point of view. Attacking the person in front of you and sharing your comments about their issues (like saying “you’re just ignorant!”), won’t help in diminishing the conflict.
If you seek to conduct an argument constructively, opt for pointing out how their argument (not persona) is flawed and offer examples that prove it.
3. Never, Ever Lie or Gaslight Others
To avoid offending people in an argument, you must always use real facts and information – including things that other people said in this argument. The worst thing you can do in an argument is to claim that others said or did something they actually didn’t. It even has its own term in psychology – gaslighting.
So listen carefully to what your opponent says and don’t add words to your opponent’s argumentation. Argue only based on the statement they gave.
4. Focus On Being Confident, Not Aggressive
If your goal is to both win and not hurt people during an argument, it might be a great idea to focus on your confidence and manage your aggression as much as you can. To win, all you have to do is trust your knowledge, skills, and be confident about what you say because it will allow you to communicate your point of view in the best way.
5. Keep The Eye Contact
A couple of studies suggested that in any type of dispute or argument, it is crucial to keep eye contact with the opponent. It is also observed that those who maintain eye contact are harder to persuade. So if you want to argue and win every time, always look your opponent in the eyes, as it will make it difficult to manipulate you or your opinion.
6. Emphasize The Positive, Not Negative Aspects Of Other People’s Arguments
Another psychological trick to argue and win every time is to start the discussion by underlining all the positive traits of your opponent’s arguments. After stating what the other person is saying right, you can easily introduce their negative points by explaining how they are wrong. Reveal your arguments, yet also show appreciation by suggesting how your arguments can be completed by your opponent’s strong facts.
7. Don’t Interrupt
The most annoying thing you can do in an argument is to interrupt the person you are speaking to. This will make them feel like you are not listening, not trying to understand and it might deeply offend them.
Instead, focus on listening without interruptions and share your insight at the end of their argument. Usually, discussion conflicts appear when someone feels like they are uselessly explaining their point of view. By allowing each other to express personal thoughts and arguments, you both show a lot of respect. Hence, the possibility of ending up in a serious conflict is diminished drastically.
8. Ask Questions
Another way to help yourself win an argument is to ask questions. By receiving more insight into your opponent’s argument, you will be able to manage the discussion and understand their point of view correctly. With all that information, you can shape your own points more easily and basically win any argument, because you can make a strong point with both your knowledge and your opponent’s.
9. Keep Your Voice Low And Balanced
Your voice is one of the most important things you need to take into account if you want to argue and win every time + stay in good relationships with others. If your pitch is low, the person next to you won’t be encouraged to enter into a fight mode. On the other hand, if you raise your voice, the fight will be fuelled, and you might end up hurting someone’s feelings.
10. Always Remember To Be Humble
Don’t break. Don’t gloat. Don’t belittle the one you are arguing with – discussions and arguments are not some kind of war you need to win.
Negative actions can offend people and at the same time make you appear shallow. Arguments can be won with professionalism, which is why it is always best to show appreciation, even if you won. After all, we are human beings and we need to connect positively.
If you feel like another person is being offensive towards YOU, there is no need for you to stay in such a discussion. Some people just can’t stand losing and will do whatever they can to “win”, even if it might hurt others. The sad thing about these people is that it’s almost impossible to make them understand how they are wrong – they just won’t accept it. Therefore, arguing with them is just a waste of time.
Related: How To Deal With a Narcissist Person If It’s Someone You Love
How To Argue And Win Every Time: Final Thoughts
Winning an argument without offending people can turn out to be quite simple! All you have to do is listen carefully, correctly express your opinion, and avoid focusing on anything else rather than the facts and your opponent’s argument. Try these tips in your next argument, and remember to stay confident and calm.
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