How To Keep a Relationship Strong: 10 Relationship Rules To Remember

Updated on September 16, 2020

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A romantic couple of bearded guy and an elegant blonde girl hugging each other outside

Relationships are all about human connection done through love and understanding.

But sometimes it can turn out to be rather difficult to keep a relationship strong…

Through every couples’ journey together, a few or even several hiccups inevitably occur and make things a little tainted. Mostly, this happens because you encounter a difference in your opinions, one of you feels insecure and becomes jealous.

Or simply life happens with all the bills, responsibilities and not enough energy (or good mood!) to deal with it all. It’s just how it is. However, setting a few healthy relationship rules can help you can manage your relationships and keep them strong and flourishing. A little bit of commitment, effort and input can be that secret key to having a good connection with your loved one.

“Yeah, well, who are you to give me this advice?”

I’ve been together with my partner for 14 years now and I am happy to say that we kept our relationship burning through all these years, even though we’ve been through many ups and downs together (downs outweigh the ups, unfortunately).

We’ve had our disagreements, we had health, money, family, work issues – we’ve been through ice and fire together and no matter how hard it was, our bond grew stronger and stronger every single day.

I am not a relationships expert, not yet, but I’ve also been studying and researching various human psychology topics over the past 5 years, including relationships. I believe I can give you real, honest, true, and tried tips that have worked in my life, and stemmed from my studies as well.

If you want to keep a relationship strong, here is a list of 10 simple, healthy and essential relationship rules that build a foundation for bonds that last and grow even stronger with time.

A couple smiling and sharing pictures of a strong relationship


How To Keep a Relationship Strong: 10 Relationship Rules To Remember


1) Respect Each Other


The first rule to keep a relationship strong is to treat your loved one with respect. You have to respect your partner’s time, heart, character and, of course, his or her trust + expect to receive the same amount of respect back.

Keep in mind that there is a multitude of actions that can diminish the feeling of respect given or received. These include name-calling, secretly checking your partners’ phone, making ultimatums or threatening to end the relationship. Always avoid such behavior as it will 100% make things harder, instead of helping you both.


2) Do Things That Help You Bond


At the beginning of a relationship, we tend to focus on spending as much time with our partner as possible. But spending a lot of time together does not necessarily mean that your relationship is getting stronger. What does make it stronger is spending that time well.

To maintain and strengthen your connection, focus on doing activities that allow you to bond. Go out for dinner and have long talks, set up picnics and relax together, play fun games and giggle – the better the time, the stronger the relationship!


1) Talk About It!


One of the most important relationship rules is to communicate with your loved one, because communication is key to happiness & peace.

… Yet not every person knows how to express how they feel. The key to a strong relationship is to vocalize love, show your feelings, and offer compliments as often as possible.

Moreover, discussing bad situations or fights is even more important, because avoiding and hiding from any bad issues won’t solve your problems anyway. To grow together and build the foundation for a strong relationship, a couple has to be able to truly express their feelings.

So, no matter how uncomfortable a situation might be, talking about it is what will lead to better problem-solving skills and a long-lasting relationship.

4) Keep a Relationship Strong By… Spending Some Time Apart


A little time apart can also keep you both healthy and happy. After 14 years in a relationship, I can honestly say that spending time apart from each other is as important as spending time together. And no, it’s not because “after a long time people get bored of each other”. I never got bored of my partner.

Yet when you spend too much time together, you can end up in a situation called co-dependency. This is when you start to lose your own authenticity and feel like you, as one, don’t or can’t exist without your partner (which is, of course, not true).

It’s incredibly important to stay YOU – the real, authentic YOU with your own likes, dislikes, goals, dreams, wishes, and abilities because essentially, this is what made your partner interested in you in the first place.

Thus, a healthy rule for a strong relationship is to have gentle boundaries and personal autonomy from time to time. This is the key to both personal happiness and a lasting partnership.


5) Appreciate & Admire


Being in a long-term relationship often makes us forget to express our appreciation for our loved ones.

Admiration shows your significant other that you are grateful for having him or her by your side and is a simple, completely way to keep a relationship strong.

Small gestures, a couple of kind words, a genuine interest in his or her day will boost confidence in your connection and make your partner feel loved.


6) Sex Is Important, Too


When it comes to relationships, sex is just like a perfect frosting on an already tasty cake. It cultivates a flourishing connection for the couple because it allows you to feel connected, and share each other at the most intimate level.

Of course, this is not much of a rule since every person has his or her own preferences. Yet it’s safe to say that sex is definitely a perfect habit to cultivate if you want to make and keep your relationship strong.


7) NEVER Compare


Usually, people tend to compare their lives with those of others. Social media platforms these days are only adding to the problem, making a lot of people unhappy (even though that portrayed social media “happy life” is usually not so happy at all).

The happiest and strongest couples avoid comparing their relationship altogether. They understand that sometimes fights happen, sometimes their relationship can be worse than others, but they focus on mending and bettering their connection, instead of dreaming about someone else.

Next time you feel like comparing what you have to what someone else has, remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.


8) Be Honest With Each Other


If you aim to keep a relationship strong and have a deeper connection with your loved one, you should ALWAYS be completely honest. Honest couples share insights about their feelings, thoughts or opinions on various topics and they’re not afraid to say the truth.

If you both decide to be completely honest with each other, this will ease your communication process, and help you trust each other more.

It is a fact that lying will get you nothing good. On the other hand – being true, honest and open with your partner creates mutual trust and respect.


9) Enjoy Being Playful


It may sound funny, but couples should play and tease each other! Letting steam off, having a little fun, even being childish is healthy and helps you both to relax and enjoy just being you.

Even in tense situations, a little bit of gentle and playful teasing can help loosen up that tension and help you both breathe easier.


10) Make Effort


Last rule to remember is that nothing really grows if you don’t help it grow. If you want to keep your relationship strong, remind yourself that it’s not a one-day work. It’s a series of smaller and bigger daily actions that eventually reap a big, beautiful result.

Even reading this list is not enough! It’s just a tip of the iceberg of how many things you can learn, try, do together to make your relationship unbreakable.

Here are a few books I highly recommend if you want to have that rock-solid bond with your loved one:

Feeling Good Together book by David D. Burns, M.D.

Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work

Wonderful book for any kind of relationship problems – whether it would be your partner, your colleague or friend. It will teach you to find the real reasons why you can’t get along with the person in your mind and how to deal with any interpersonal problem quickly and effectively. Available here

5 love languages book cover by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

A must-read for every couple! If you want to learn how to mend, tend and grow your relationship, this book will give a ton of invaluable insights and ideas on how to keep that fire burning. It is helpful in any relationship state so it doesn’t matter if you guys are in a crisis or a honeymoon phase – there’s something to learn for everyone. Get this book here

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I hope these tips will help you strengthen or keep your relationships strong. You can find more helpful ideas on this article as well:  8 Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Partner

Stay in love!

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