How to Get Back to Dating After a Bad Breakup

Updated on August 24, 2020

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Whenever a relationship ends, it may feel like a small part of you dies along with it. Especially if it was a long-term deal with a partner who you thought to be “the One” with utmost certainty. Regardless of who broke up with whom, the period of time afterward belongs to some of the saddest and most difficult ones to go through. It’s when the thoughts of getting back together haunt your mind, and you constantly seem to mistake random people on the streets for your lost love.

Some people need more time than others to adjust to the new reality, whereas others seem to have no issue with going out and starting to see new people right away. There is nothing wrong with either approach. Recovery speed depends on many factors, such as the relationship’s duration, quality, and the nature of the breakup.

If you belong to the unfortunate group of people who struggle with getting ready to date again after ending a relationship, you’re not alone. If you’re hung up on your ex-boyfriend, take solace in the fact that men take breakups much harder than women and chin up! You might need to readjust your expectations, evaluate your dating pool, and, in the direst of scenarios, re-learn how to text a girl or a guy.

No matter how much despair you’re in right now, things will get better. When they do, you’re going to need some advice on how to get yourself out there and find someone new.


How Long Should You Wait After a Breakup to Date Again?


Truth be told, there is no right amount of time one should wait around for before starting to date other people. You can take as long as you want but beware of the pitfalls of sulking over a lost relationship. Even if you decide to take time off dating, you will need to find something else to do that can fill that void. Too many great people with a lot to offer have let themselves go because they’ve lost all of their motivation and drive due to a bad breakup. Don’t become one of them!     

Another thing you should keep in mind before you start dating again is your ex-partner and their thoughts and feelings. It all depends on how the two of you broke up. If your ex cheated on you with your best friend or something equally sinister, you’d be forgiven for trying to move on as quickly as possible.

If your relationship ended in a way that doesn’t resemble a scene from every generic romantic comedy ever, you might want to be a little more considerate. Most people tend to call it quits due to externalities, such as conflicting plans for the future or career opportunities that require moving across the world.

If some of these reasons ring a little too close to home, you might want to think about waiting it out a little bit. Think about how it would feel if you found out that your long-term boyfriend, who claimed to have loved you as you two ended things, was going on dates just days after the breakup. Remember – just because you’re ready to date someone else, it doesn’t mean you won’t end up hurting your ex.

Of course, you can’t put your life on hold indefinitely. Courtesy dictates, however, that you shouldn’t dive into another serious relationship just days after breaking up. One-night stands are different, and as long as you make sure that the person you’ve taken home isn’t good friends with your ex. That might make things just a little bit awkward.


Can Couples Get Back Together After a Messy Breakup?


After an exhausting week of constant fighting, throwing hurtful accusations and insults around, you finally get the courage to end that toxic relationship you’ve been stuck in for the last couple of years. But maybe it wasn’t so terrible? Maybe, if you really, really talked it through, there is a happy future in store for the two of you, after all? Maybe, if you just pick up the phone and call him, begging to take you back, you’ll finally make it work?

Don’t even think about it.

Relationships end for a reason. Sure, there are stories of couples breaking up, getting back together, and living out the rest of their lives with each other. These kinds of stories are rare, and they tend to play out after a long while apart. If you’re meant to be together, you’ll find each other again, richer in new experiences, and much smarter. Just like getting over someone, realizing that they are, after all, the person for you, is a lengthy process.

It’s not an epiphany you stumble upon at 3 in the morning after a heavy night of drowning your sorrows in a bottle. If you live off the hope of patching things up with your ex, it’s very likely that you’re going to end up sorely disappointed.


Bottom Line


Breaking up is never easy. Regardless of whether you’re relieved that it’s over, or cling on to the hopes of reuniting with your former lover, you need time to sort things out. No matter how dire everything may seem right now, it won’t be long before you’re ready to date someone new. Time is the most precious thing you have, and you don’t want to waste any of it lamenting over something that just wasn’t meant to be. The sooner you realize that, the better.

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