How To Stop Being Jealous
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At some or other time in your life, you’re probably going to have to deal with jealousy.This is inevitable.
You’re going to feel jealous of someone for something. Maybe it’s their looks, how much money they have, how successful they are or even something small like where they live (this is even truer in our social media and status-obsessed world.) But here’s the big thing you need to realize about jealousy.
What you have to understand is that it’s not real. What you’re actually doing by being jealous, is projecting and mind reading. You’re putting yourself into that person’s shoes and imagining how much better things could be and what your life would be like if you looked like them, or had their money or status or whatever.
But this isn’t real and here’s why that’s a problem…
You know how they say that, “The grass is always greener on the other side?”
It always seems like other people have it better than you. But in reality, you have no idea what that person’s life is like. They could be desperately unhappy, or have some other fault. And if someone could wave a magic wand, and give you everything they have, you might end up being just as unhappy as they are.
In fact, what they have (if given to you) could become a terrible burden.
Realize that by being jealous, you’re assuming things about that person’s life. You’re assuming their life is great because they’re tall or beautiful or this and that. And you know what they say? “When you assume things, you make an ass out of you and me.”
So don’t assume that just because someone’s rich, they have a perfect life. It might be quite the opposite.
Often people are like ducks – they look calm on the surface, but underneath they’re paddling like hell to stay afloat.
Ultimately, ending jealousy is about learning to accept and let go. Accept that you don’t have those things and let go of your jealousy because holding onto bitterness and resentment does no good for you.
Also, your feelings don’t hurt the person who you’re jealous of. You only hurt yourself if you feel jealous. That person will carry on living their life, while you’re the one who is green with envy.
Be Thankful For What You’ve Been Given… Or Change It!
Your life is a gift. You’ve been given this life + what you have for a reason and it’s up to you to make the most of it.
And if you really want what other people have, then you simply have to work at it.
Start to take responsibility for your life and work for what you don’t have. And yes, you can have everything, within the range of sanity! If that person is tall and you’re not, then that isn’t a goal you can work towards.
But if they have money or a great job you’ve always wanted, then what’s stopping you?
Alternatively, while you might not be able to get what they have, you could probably achieve other things. Or maybe you’ll discover that their life isn’t so great after all…
The point is to work towards something you can feel good about and proud of. Something that will make you feel fulfilled so that you don’t have to be jealous.
And while you’re at it – quit or drastically cut down on your social media. Social media isn’t real life and doesn’t reflect reality at all. It’s a curated and photo-shopped version of someone’s life and only shows only the best parts.
The Bottom Line
You need to stop feeling jealous because in the end, it doesn’t do you any good.
If you spend your time obsessing over someone else, you’ll simply destroy your own life. While you’re fixated on that person, your life is going to go by. And all that happens is that you end up bitter, resentful and worse off than before.
Focus on your own life instead of being jealous of other people’s lives.
Remember that the grass might only look greener on the other side, and you have no idea what their reality is actually like.