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How To Have Less Empathy (So You Can Take Care Of Yourself Too)

It’s not a bad thing to be kind, but over-empathy can be exhausting.

Researched, written by Amber & The Team
Updated on July 9, 2023

Man Hugging Woman And Is Exhausted From Being Too Empathetic

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If you suffer from over-empathy, you’re not alone.

Many people report that they are overly sensitive to the pain and feelings of others.

Fortunately, there are several ways to deal with this condition.

Regardless of the source of your over-empathy, there are tools to help you learn to have less empathy in different situations.

Here are a few of them.


Recognize when you’re acting in an over-empathic way


Recognizing is the first step in dealing with anything.

If you’re constantly worried about other people’s feelings or letting others decide on your behalf, you’re probably an over-empathetic person.

If you’re constantly trying to avoid disappointing or upsetting them, that’s also not a good idea.

Instead, try to make yourself a priority and make sure to make every decision yourself.

If you want to improve your relationship with your loved ones, you should make them your partner, not your source of obsession.


Be aware of the impact of your empathy on others


If you don’t see the boundaries properly, you will eventually push them.

As a result, you can become overbearing to others and will often ignore or dismiss your own needs.

Also, don’t try to desperately improve your relationships with people who have low or no empathy towards you because you may end up worse off.


Don’t expect other people to change you


It’s not easy for people with high empathy to change.

But, there are ways to deal with this issue.

If you’re struggling with a relationship where your over-emphatic behavior is impacting your relationship, try not to force your partner to change you.

Only you can change your thoughts, actions and behavior.

If you can’t change yourself, it might be helpful to seek professional help from someone who understands your psychological struggles – they can help you to become less empathetic over time.


Take care of yourself too


It’s important to maintain a healthy level of self-care.

Empathy is a wonderful trait and, if not too overbearing, should be nurtured.

Yet it’s important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, especially if you’re tired and want to have less empathy.

Be aware of your limitations.

Be aware of your emotions and your feelings.

Strive to understand and care for your own situation too.




To have less empathy, you need to have a healthy balance. It’s not a bad thing to be kind, but over-empathy can be exhausting and challenging to manage.

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